David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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