Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
God, I missed his penis.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
