I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
