I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
