Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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