At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize