I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
