and she was petting her beer can
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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