I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sober January is a disaster.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
