so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she smelled like a LAN party
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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