why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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