okay pat passed out under dana's car
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize