oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
