Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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