I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
