apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
