Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need to calm my uterus...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
