Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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