Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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