it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
