I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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