do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My bed smells like the plague
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