the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My feet surprised me
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