i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize