All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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