she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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