Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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