that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize