WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
