Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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