I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
