that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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