Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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