I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Four minutes until I can fart!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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