Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
