the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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