dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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