I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
