we're blogging at a bar
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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