why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
