margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
