I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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