remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Randomize
