Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
