if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we should paint friendship bongs
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