I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
