i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
