Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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