meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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