I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
