Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize