I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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