Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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