Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
