Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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