1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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