You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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