so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
