and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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