"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
