Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
home. puking in laundry basket.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
