i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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